"To the one working hard for hers."

I feel like the for past few months, i've lost myself between all the craziness that has happened. School's about to start in 2 weeks and I don't feel like I'm ready for it at all. So i need to buckle down and prepare myself for whats to come; whether it'll be school, family, health, work. I need to start being the person that i used to be: confident, determined, independent!

But, a part of me is really afraid of what my future will bring, since everything isnt going that well lately. There are times, that I have to constantly remind myself to think positively and that things are going to work itself out for the better. The question is do i believe it? Maybe yes, maybe no. I guess it just depends on how i feel that day. The days where i'm super sickly are the worst. Those are the days where i feel like I'm going to die and i;m not gonna make it past this year. I HATE the intense pain that runs through my body, the headaches, the puking, not being able to eat,the tiredness; it makes me feel so weak and hopeless. I hate the days where i just sit in front of the toilet crying and breaking down, cuz i feel like i cant take this anymore.


I just want my life to be normal again, cuz this isn't who i am. I'm not the type of girl to complain and cry all the time; I'm not some broken barbie doll. Like my friend said, "You;re Lena Tang and you're stronger than this. You can accomplished anything as long as you put your mind to it." So my illness and life can go suck it, cuz i'm still young and i have a lot to live for. There are still things that i have yet to experience, places that i haven't been to and don't forget all the yummy foods that i haven't tried. I'm gonna go against the odds; just as long as i believe! <3

Bonding Time

I spent some time with my sis yesterday and my guy best friends, took some pics, watched movie, went mini golfing, then took a stroll in the park.

- will blog more about this later n post pics =]

i still need to talk about my hangout with friends last week >_<;;
ive been lagging a lot on this blog

Bucket List

Because of my sickness, i feel like it has taken a HUGE toll on my life, so I've decided to make a bucket list of all the things that i want to accomplish in life. I hope I'm able to accomplish a lot of these by the end of this year.

~always believe <3

(Will add more and edit later)

~** BUCKET LIST

Places I want to go:

[ ] Monterey Bay Aquarium (Pet a penguin)

[ ] Museum

[ ] Zoo

[ ] Disney World

[ ] Vegas

[ ] Six Flags

[ ] Travel

 – NYC, PARIS, JAPAN, TAIWAN, EUROPE, FLORIDA, CANADA

Things I want to do:

[x] Hiking – Mission Peak

[ ] Rock Climbing

[ ] Kayaking/Rafting

[ ] Sky Diving

[ ] Shooting range

[ ] Golf

[ ] Scuba diving

[ ] Crabbing/Fishing

[ ] Camping

[ ] Slumber Party

[ ] See a musical

Things I want to learn:

[ ] Ballroom Dance - WALTZ

[ ] Bake/Cook (PROFESSIONALLY)

[ ] Play an instrument – Guitar, Violin

[ ] Learn a New Language –VIET, FRENCH, KOREAN

Things I want to get better at:

[ ] Swimming

[ ] Photography (learn Photoshop)

[ ] Tennis

[ ] Baddy

[ ] Piano

[ ] Chinese

[ ] Japanese

[ ] Makeup

Conquer my fears:

[ ] Heights

[ ] The Dark

[ ] Cemetery

[ ] Bugs

[ ] Enclosed space

[ ] Swimming

[ ] Death

Read as many Books as possible [Book List]:

Misc:

[x] Tattoo

[ ] Finish Nursing

[ ] Become a doctor

[ ] Make a difference in a person’s life

[ ] Save someone

[ ] Love

[ ] Exercise more

My alternative

being sick has prevented me from doing a lot of things lately, since i'm always so tired. this is my alternative to going out now, since i can hardly get myself out of bed and i wanted to do something more productive than to just waste my life away. i think it'll be a great escape, since reading is a passion of mine. i prefer story books over textbooks any day, even though i should start studying soon; school start on the 19th =(

I think the first book that i'm going to read is "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." Let the adventures begin!! i hope it's a good read =)